for Crappy Copy

*no actual personal contact will take place making the CPR safe and disease free

Crappy copy never connects or converts. And getting clients is hard enough. But getting consistent clients that end your feast and famine cycle with average (ahem...cough, crappy) copy is like building a rocket with tinfoil.

That’s why I’m here, so you get more clients faster, easier, and with less stress through the proven art of  copywriting and communication strategy.  

Hi! I'm Toni Marie LaGree, comedic writer turned kick-butt copywriter and communications strategist. Life is too short to read bore-me-to-death-copy!

Are you ready to give your audience fire-breathing, passion-filled copy that ignites them to action, getting them to buy your course, product or service? 

Grab me, and let's chat about powering up your prose.

Check out my satire writing at Brain Caffeine.

Dear Passionate Business Builder,

I hear you. 

Getting clients is a constant. It’s hard.

And your business thrives or dies by getting clients. 

That’s a ton of weight hanging around your neck…enough to sink you faster than the Titanic.

But that’s not all…

You've got other worries..

Payroll. Taxes. Marketing. Family holidays. The economy.

You find more hair in the comb than on your head.

And you’ve tried everything…

List scraping. Cold emails. Hot emails. Facebook ads. Free 30-minute calls. 

Just reading the list of everything you’ve tried is more exhausting than running the Boston Marathon in a pair of concrete shoes.

You end up doing too much.

Wearing too many hats.

Your diet is antacids and coffee.

Your life has spiraled into a place called “Burnout Hell”. 

I’d rather brush my teeth with habanero sauce than let you stay in that hot steamy place. 

But this isn’t about me.

This is about you.

You’re here right now reading these words because something is missing from your business…even though you work 8 days a week.

And most business don’t have a traffic problem.

There are over 40,000 search queries every single second on Google.

It’s a conversion problem.

Are you ready for more…

More clients.

More money.

More security.

More fun.

More freedom.

More time with your favorite people. ('s that stranger that's been in the house with you at night.)

More crypto-kitties in your collection…whatever you want.

I’ve got great news for you.

With some COPY CPR... 

Your inbox will be overflowing like the banks of the Nile with eager clients.

You’ll be consistently getting new clients.

Each day will be filled with “I got this s#$%”. 

You’ll be in control.

Calm will fill your days and random birds will start to bask in your confident glow

And it all starts with killer copy. 

Get your copy CPR  started by choosing an option below. And get your sanity back!

Change your life.

Pick your copy CPR adventure...

You don't even have to trust what Toni says.

It's What They Say that COUNTS!

Ruble C.  

Author, speaker, coach

Get her before she goes off and writes for the Tonight Show!

"Toni is an incredible talent for humor writing. She is imaginative and natural. This is our second project with her. On the first project we worked with her, we went through a lot of candidate's samples before our team decided she is the best humor writer available. This time it was a no brainer to work with the best. Get her before she goes off and writes for the Tonight Show. Toni, you are an incredible talent and we love working with you."

Chris & John

Serial Entrepreneurs

Toni was amazing.

"She was responsive, professional, matched the tone we were after and really put some thought into the content that she built for us. A very talented writer. Looking forward to working with her in the future."

Chris & Ryan Z. 

Award-winning Magicians

Don’t hesitate to reach out to Toni!

"Toni did a fantastic job of brainstorming, drafting, revising and completing a theatrical script. She is a team player and stays engaged. Her communication is excellent; whether by email, messenger or telephone... she makes herself available and responds quickly. If you’re looking for someone to write a creative piece, don’t hesitate to reach out to Toni!"

I Invite You To Take A Peek

From Harmon Brothers' style video scripts, to online courses, emails, blogs, website copy, social media ads, copy editing for books, and even comic books, I create copy that counts.

toni marie lagree and open formula scripts

About Me.

Words. Concepts. Consultations. 

I have one job, get you words and concepts that sell your products and services to the people who need them most, faster and easier. 

What About You?

Maybe you have launched your product or service but your offers just aren't converting like you hoped.  Or you're struggling to get any interaction from your emails. 

• If you are ready to build a lasting connection with your clients through your website...

• If you want to create email copy that actually sounds like it comes from a friend and someone your clients trust...

• If you are ready to increase your brand's fan base with a person-to-person connection...

Then let's talk. secret specialty is writing comedy and humor! I'm a top-rated joke writer on

Check out my satire writing at Brain Caffeine.

Check me out:

"Illusionist David Blaine pulled off the near impossible of a “hand-held” balloon ride to 4.7 miles above the Arizona dessert. Then he skydived back to Earth at speeds over 120mph. The only thing dropping faster than David Blaine are Telsa shares."

Save your audience from dying of boring copy!


Get Copy CPR today!